Friday, February 20, 2009

The TALK (if you can call it that)

Later the night of the CONFRONTATION, we all had a "TALK" of sorts, or at least that's what they called it. Thought it seemed more to me, them talking about how I was in the wrong about the whole thing. Dad told me after I told him how she'd been treating me was abuse that how I acted was abuse to her. So, I told them rather than live with the abuse, I'd move out, that was my choice because she refused to change her behaviour towards me.

I told Dad that Rachel wanted him to call her. The next day, Rachel told me that she talked to Dad and that Dad had talked to his wife about being softer.

All in all, things have been a bit better, Dad talked to me that night.

Oh yeah, they said she was trying the "drill-sergeant approach" because she had tried the other way and it hadn't worked (the only thing I hadn't taken care of immediately when asked to do it was clean my room, so where she got that idea I couldn't say. Things are better for now.

Monday, February 16, 2009


A lot has happened since last I wrote.

For a few weeks, practically every day, until Wednesday of last week (February 11th), Dad's wife would insult me. I'd accidentally leave a cupboard door open (even when I didn't even open the door in question), she would come storming downstairs in a fit saying, "I'M TIRED OF PLAYING THIS CHILDISH GAME OF YOURS!" As if I intentionally did it. Also, if I would ever comment that I put something on the grocery list for them to get, she would again call me childish. Basically, how it felt to me was daily VERBAL & EMOTIONAL ABUSE. That how it went for weeks, pretty much since I had gotten home from Utah after New Years (discounting the week following my arrival since they left on Dad's business trip the evening I got back).

Before this I had been doing my best to be nice to her, regardless of her biting insults about Mom. I'll take a moment to tell about that. At the end of October, Dad's wife started taking up the act of insulting my mom. She started it on October 29th and I absolutely couldn't stand it. I told her that I wouldn't listen to anything she had to say if she continued to insult Mom, yet still it went on. She started accusing Mom of emotional abuse. For someone who never had the GOOD FORTUNE of meeting my mom, she sure had a lot of horrible things to say about her. She blamed Mom for our house being in bad shape, saying that the way Dad acted around her was proof that it wasn't him. She also talked about me being immature because I watched a cartoon and the fact that I don't take it upon myself to clean the bathroom. She called me self-centered. I told that in order to have ANY right to judge what Mom was like, she'd need to meet her but that wasn't possible because Mom's dead!
Mom was our Hero. Rachel, Sara, and I could talk to her about everything. She cared. In my opinion this is the worst anything could ever say to me! To tell me that my mom, who she never met was emotionally abusive, I just cannot abide. There's nothing more despicable than judging someone you've never met in the worst possible way and telling his/her child such blatant lies about him/her.

Back to what I was saying before, I had been doing my best to be nice to her, regardless of her biting insults about Mom, but after a few weeks of her demeaning insults towards me. I decided enough was enough! I wouldn't take anymore of her VERBAL and EMOTIONAL ABUSE because one shouldn't have to deal with that kind of treatment in their own home. One shouldn't dread coming home every day, wondering if she'd be there and what horrible thing she'd say next.

Now, I will tell about what happened on Wednesday, but first a little more information about what was going on. In my bedroom, I had 2 SMALL piles of things on the floor (probably the equivalent being if one had one drawer stuffed with clothes as much as would fit and dumped that on a floor, that would be more than the stuff I had on the floor). In all actuality I should have the right to keep my room anyway I please. She had said something to me about needing to clean my room a few days earlier.

On Tuesday night, I rearranged the dressers in my room, so that I'd have direct access to an electric outlet in my room. I showed it to Dad and he commented that I needed to pick up the stuff on the floor (in a nicer way than she DEMANDED it) (which I already had plans to do the next day because once I do anything to change my room I do the rest by the next day.

So on Wednesday morning, I was downstairs on the computer and had decided that I'd go upstairs at 10:30 am to take my shower and then clean my room, but right when I was going to go upstairs to do just that, Dad's wife comes down insisting I come up there immediately, insulting me in the process (like she could speak to me in any other fashion). I decided that I wasn't going to take any more of her abuse. So, after, I got upstairs and took care of my breakfast dishes I took my stand. She, of course, didn't react very well. I moved past her, went into the bathroom and shut myself inside, she tried opening the door but I had my foot in the way to keep her out. After about a minute in there, I decided to go for a walk and so I went into my room to get my coat but she followed inside and blocked the door. I took my stand and said everything I had been considering saying to her for a while, some since way back in October when this all really began.

I can't remember the exact order things were said, a lot of things were repeated during the CONFRONTATION, but this is the gist of it:
~I refused to take anymore ABUSE from her and I told her so.
~My mom came up and I basically said everything I had wanted to say to her ever since she first insulted Mom to my face, if she ever even implied anything bad about Mom again.
~I told her that until she's met Mom, and known her for 21 years, then she has no room to talk. To which she replied that she didn't want to have met Mom. I replied to that that I felt sorry for her because anyone would be lucky to have met Mom (that goes to show how spiteful she is towards Mom).
~She told me Mom has more important things to do than to care about what's going on with us, that Mom's gone and no where around (more spite, and lack of knowing anything about Mom, because Mom was the kind of person who even being busy in the Spirit World, she'd still make the time to check on her living children because that was the kind of person she was.)
~I told her she has no right to make jokes about dead people she's never met, that it's insulting and disrespectful of the dead.
~I said she insulted Clarence by joking about his car (back before I left for Utah when Sara and I were both here, we rode in Clarence's car to church one Sunday and she said something about telling someone she rode in a HAUNTED car).
~I told her that if you insult Clarence, Mom, Rachel, or Sara, is as bad as insulting me.
~I also said something to the effect of by insulting any of us, you insult all of us.
~She called Rachel childish! (that's like calling Gizmo a dog)

Gizmo shown below

~I told her she's more childish than Rachel is (I mentioned that a 70 year old man would be more childish than Rachel, to which she replied that a 70 year old man can be really childish).
~I tried compromising with her several times but she refused, saying that she doesn't compromise
~I told her she's not the boss of me.
~She admitted to looking in my garbage (in my bedroom) and she said she has the right because it's her house and she can look wherever she wants (makes me wonder, What is safe? Has she tried reading my journal as well?).
~Eventually, it got to the point that she basically just stared at me. So, I took out my cell phone, first, I called Sara, because she had told me that I could call her before 3 pm and I wasn't sure of what Rachel was doing at that time of day, but Sara didn't answer, so I called Rachel and passed messages between because I didn't trust Dad's wife with my phone, not too mention she'd probably hang up on Rachel.
~I told Dad's wife that she should call Rachel because Rachel has a few things to say to her (this is before I pulled out my cell phone), but she yelled back that Rachel didn't live here so she has no say in what goes on.
~She told me that Rachel thinks for me when that's not true.
~Rachel called Dad while I called Sister Cox because Dad's wife was being completely unreasonable.
~Dad's wife also told me if I didn't like her attitude I could move out, that her attitude wasn't changing.
~Sister Cox, after hearing what was going on, I told her as briefly as I could, agreed that Dad's wife was being unreasonable.
~Sister Cox told me she'd never act that way, that this situation was childish.
~The only suggestion Sister Cox could think of was to compromise which I had already tried several times (none of which worked).
~I tried a new compromise after hanging up with Sister Cox which again was rejected.
~Dad's wife has very childish behaviour, in that, she (including all the evidence above) mocked me when I called Sister Cox's home phone first with no answer, also when Sister Cox asked who's idea it was to call her, mine or Dad's wife, I told her it was Rachel's (it was essentially hers, Rachel suggested that I call someone in the Ward and I decided on Sister Cox) Dad's wife mocked again (What's more childish than that?)
~Regardless of the fact that I tried to compromise, she wanted to be in control refusing to compromise, even though my room would have been clean hours earlier, if she had agreed.
~After hanging up with Sister Cox, my new compromise was that I would strip my bed and then she had to leave, she STILL refused.
~My compromises went as follows:
~"I'll take my shower and then clean my room" (refused: Doesn't care if I smell).
~"I'll clean my room as soon as you leave then take my shower" (She refused to leave).
~The fact is she didn't care about my room being clean as much as she wanted control.
~Even though, she refused to agree to my terms, I stripped my bed anyway, and took the opportunity to escape my room when taking them down to the laundry room (making sure to wear proper shoes that I could leave the house with).
~When trying to leave the house, she tried grabbing me by the coat, then she THREATENED me that when I got back my room would be clean (who knows what would happen to my things if that happened, she'd more likely than not throw everything away it's what she does best, throw away my things).
~I couldn't leave after that threat so I stayed upstairs in the dining room and kitchen to make sure she didn't try anything.
~After she and Dad left for lunch, and she told me that she expected my room clean by the time she got back, I promptly cooked my lunch, then I took my shower, then I cleaned my room like I had originally siad I would.
~Oh yeah, I pointed to the poster I made with Moroni 7:18, which states And now, my brethren, seeing that ye know the light by which ye may judge, which light is the light of Christ, see that ye do not judge wrongfully; for with that same judgment which ye judge ye shall also be judged. To which, she told me that she had already had the scripture beat into her head a few times (obviously the reason why is because she has a problem with it).
~I also told her that for me judging those you've never met is one of the worst things to do except for stealing and murder.
~I also asked her questions likes how she'd feel if someone said that about her mother (and she replied that she wouldn't be surprised) or if someone told her children that (and to that she said people have or something to that effect). She obviously doesn't know what a good mother is like, if she has that kind of opinion.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

New Years and Leaving

On New Years Eve, Rachel, Sara, and I went over our cousins', Betsy and Adam McGee's, home. They along with our cousins Katie and Josh and Brittany were there. Rachel, Sara, and I took a bunch of games for us to play, including 8 decks of playing cards. We took 8 decks of cards so that we'd be able to play the game, Nertz, which we played first. It was really fun playing it with 7 players. After that we played Disney Scene It 2nd Edition. Then, we played Apples to Apples, and then Rachel's game called Bang! I think that Bang! would probably have gone better if everyone hadn't been so tired, plus Rachel, Sara, and I didn't remember how to play it too well because we hadn't played it in so long.

On January 1st, Rachel, Sara, and I went up to West Jordan for New Years dinner (although it was more of a lunch because Becky had to go to work. After dinner, we went downstairs and played the Wii Bowling game again. After a couple of games Aunt Linda and Uncle Darryl joined us and we switched who played. It was pretty interesting when Aunt Linda got more excited or upset (depending on what I got) than I did. At around 8 pm, we went up to eat something and then Rachel, Sara, and I left for Orem.

The next day, I went to the bus depot around 4 pm. Then, I got on the bus to Salt Lake. The buses were running on time until I got to Butte. I was only supposed to be waiting there for 9 hours, instead I was stuck in Butte for 16 hours. After I got to Billings, I has missed the bus I was going to be atking because I was stuck in Butte. So, instead of an hour wait, I had a 6 hour wait. I finally got back to Bismarck around 5 pm Sunday, January 4, 2009, 13 hours after I was supposed to. A few hours after getting back Dad and his wife left for one of Dad's working trips, leaving me until the following Friday to fend for myself.

Saturday, February 7, 2009

Christmas in Utah Part 2

Then, the next morning (Christmas Day), we were going to go to West Jordan for Christmas dinner with Becky and Aunt Linda's family, but they postponed it until the next day because of bad weather in their area. Well, that morning, Rachel, Sara, and I gathered in their living room. We started with a 12 Days of Christmas they had been given that month, which had scripture references for each of the days that we read. After that, we opened presents, I hadn't been able to get anything for them because I have a lack of money right now, but there going to get a copy of this picture I'm creating on the computer that I'm going to get 8x10 and framed of our mom.
That afternoon we went to Carmike to see a movie. It was the movie Bedtime Stories. When we got in the car to go out the first time to locate the theater, we got stuck in the snow in the apartment's parking lot, so Sara and I had to get out and push the car out of the parking lot. When we returned, Rachel decided to park on the side so we wouldn't have to go through that again when we left to see the movie a little later.

The next day, we drove up to West Jordan for the belated Christmas dinner and before we ate, presents were exchanged with Becky. Afterwards, we ate Christmas dinner and were invited back for dinner on New Years Day.

Christmas in Utah

On the night of Friday, December 19th, Dad asked me how much my bus ticket, that I got to get back to Bismarck, cost. After telling him around $150 one way, but then I looked it up online and a two-way turned out costing $327. Dad had decided that since I had expressed my desire to go to Utah for Christmas earlier, that that would be part of my Christmas present, a bus ticket there and back.

The Bismarck Ward Christmas Party was on Saturday, December 20th. Here's a picture of me there. We sat at the table closest to the stage near the center of it. I was glad of this because they were going to have a program after we ate. I had brought my digital camera and recorded video of most of the program, which turned out really well because we were sitting so close to the front.

The following Monday, Dad went to see about buying the bus ticket. He wasn't able to get one for that day, and he was told Christmas Eve would be the earliest, but we could check and see if there was any room on the bus on Tuesday evening, which we found out on Tuesday afternoon there was enough room for me to go then.

The bus ticket Dad got me had me leaving from Bismarck and going all the way to Provo, and then my return ticket was to leave Provo at around 4:00 pm on January 2nd.
The bus I took from Bismarck didn't get there until hours after the scheduled time. I left Bismarck at around 8 pm Tuesday night and got in to Billings, MT at around 3:30 am. We were informed that the bus going Far West was canceled, but the people going to Butte, MT were lucky (which was my next transfer location. I ended up being stuck in Billings waiting for the Butte bus for twelve hours. I finally boarded the bus to Butte at 3:30 pm on Wednesday afternoon. I got to Butte at 8:30 pm and as soon as I arrived in Butte, I immediately boarded the bus to Salt Lake. I got into Salt Lake at around 6:40 am, and I boarded the bus going to Provo at 8:32 am. I arrived in Provo at 9:33 am and waited until Rachel could come get me (she had to work until 11 am). My bus ticket had originally said that I was supposed to get to Provo at around 7 pm December 23rd, but with the delays I didn't arrive until 9:30 am December 24th. At least I got to Provo before any of our Christmas celebrations would be starting. Here's a picture of me after first arriving at Rachel and Sara's apartment.

After dinner, Rachel, Sara, Gizmo (Rachel's cat), and I got into the car and did what we've done for a few years now that we started when Mom was still alive. We drove around looking at Christmas lights while singing Christmas songs. This year I decided to record video of all of it, which ends up being a good 30 to 40 minutes of video.

Along the way, we got stuck in the snow, and Rachel had Sara and I get out to try to push the car out of it, we were doing that when a few kids from a house nearby came over and shoveled around the tires and pushed the car out for us.